Carol Anne Don't Go Into The Light

Okay, let’s talk about something maybe a little controversial. Something that’s been bugging me for, well, decades. Ready?

Carol Anne, Honestly, Just Stay Put!

We've all seen Poltergeist, right? Tiny Carol Anne, cute as a button, lured to the ghostly beyond. And we’re all screaming, “Nooo! Don’t go into the light!”

But here’s my slightly unpopular opinion: Maybe, just maybe, she should have considered staying out of that light in the first place.

Hear Me Out!

I know, I know, it’s a classic horror movie trope. Kid gets lured, parents freak out. But let's be real for a second.

The light looked awfully… inviting. All glowy and beckoning. I get the temptation.

But didn’t she hear the whole “Don’t talk to strangers” thing? This applies to interdimensional beings too, Carol Anne! Especially interdimensional beings coming from your TV!

Think of the Consequences!

Going into the light caused a whole heap of trouble. Possessed houses. Creepy clowns. Tangled trees.

Poor Diane and Steve (her parents) had to deal with all of that. Not to mention Robbie and Dana!

All because someone didn’t listen to good ol' common sense: If something seems too good to be true, especially if it involves a spectral glow, it probably is.

What Was Really in the Light?

Let's get real: who knows what was actually in there. It could be pure bliss and ultimate knowledge.

Or it could be… eternal boredom. Maybe the other side is just a really long DMV wait time.

My point is: the unknown is scary. And based on the rest of the movie, it’s probably not sunshine and rainbows.

Maybe a Little Self-Preservation, Carol Anne?

I am not saying Carol Anne should be blamed. She was just a kid!

But a little bit of healthy skepticism wouldn’t have hurt, right? Even if it's just for a moment.

Maybe try asking "Who are you? What do you want? Do you have snacks?" Before blindly running toward the unknown.

A Lesson For Us All?

In the end, maybe Poltergeist isn't just a scary movie. Maybe it's a cautionary tale.

Think before you leap. Be careful what you wish for. And maybe, just maybe, don’t go into the light unless you have a signed permission slip.

Perhaps, we should teach our children that a good, solid “No, thank you” is sometimes the best defense against the supernatural (and maybe telemarketers too).

So, Am I a Terrible Person?

Probably. But I still stand by my opinion. Carol Anne, you were adorable.

You went through a whole lot of drama for someone who was just trying to watch TV.

But next time a disembodied voice invites you to another dimension, maybe grab a snack and watch Netflix instead. Your parents (and your house) will thank you!

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk on Poltergeist related unpopular opinions.