Don't Let The Pigeon Go To Mcdonald's

Okay, friends, gather 'round! Let's talk about a very serious matter. A matter of national (and frankly, global) importance.

I'm talking about the Pigeon. You know, that persistent, feathered fiend created by the brilliant Mo Willems?

Why the Pigeon Needs to Stay Away From the Golden Arches

Now, some of you might be thinking, "What's the big deal? A pigeon wants a Happy Meal." But trust me, letting that pigeon near a McDonald's is a recipe for disaster.

Imagine the scene: The Pigeon waddles up to the counter, wings flapping excitedly. He squawks his order (probably something ridiculous like "FIFTY FRENCH FRIES!").

Chaos erupts. Utter chaos! The employees are confused, the customers are bewildered, and the poor manager is probably hiding in the freezer, questioning all of their life choices.

The Fries Fiasco

Let's be real, the Pigeon wouldn't just order fries. He'd demand ALL the fries. And then, he'd probably try to build a nest out of them.

Can you picture it? A greasy, salty, potato-based avian abode. The health inspector would have a field day!

And don't even get me started on the other customers! Can you imagine little Timmy crying because the Pigeon stole his fries? Absolute nightmare.

The Nugget Nightmare

Okay, fries are bad, but nuggets are worse. Think of the dipping sauce situation! The Pigeon wouldn't just dip, he'd DIVE. He'd create a dipping sauce tsunami.

He'd be covered head to toe in barbecue or sweet and sour, probably tracking it all over the floor. Sticky feathers are not a good look for anyone.

And the crumbs! Oh, the crumbs! He'd leave a trail of nugget debris wherever he goes. It would be a clean-up crew's worst nightmare.

The Playground Peril

Imagine the Pigeon on the playground! He'd be hogging the slides, swinging too high, and probably trying to peck at the other kids' lunches.

The playground would quickly devolve into a feathered free-for-all. Feathers flying, screams echoing...not a fun time for anyone involved.

The other children would be traumatized. We can't have that! Think of the children!

Why We Must Protect McDonald's (and the World) From the Pigeon

So, what's the takeaway here? Simple: The Pigeon and McDonald's are a dangerous combination. It's like mixing Mentos and Coke – explosive and messy.

We must protect our fast food establishments (and the sanity of their employees) from the Pigeon's insatiable appetite and general chaos.

Remember, folks, vigilance is key! If you see the Pigeon heading towards the golden arches, do something! Distract him! Offer him a bus to drive (he's always wanted to drive a bus!).

But whatever you do, DON'T LET THE PIGEON GO TO MCDONALD'S! The fate of the world (or at least, the local McDonald's) may depend on it.

Thank you for your time and attention to this vital issue. Now go forth and protect our precious fries and nuggets! Let’s keep the peace!