En Route To Stockx For Authentication Stuck

My precious Air Jordans are on a journey. A pilgrimage, if you will. A quest of epic proportions. They’re headed to StockX.

But, alas, they are…stuck. Like a kid with peanut butter on the roof of their mouth. Logistically challenged.

The Great In-Transit Limbo

“En Route to StockX for Authentication.” It sounds so official, so promising. Like a knight heading off to slay a dragon, only the dragon is a discerning authenticator.

Except my tracking information hasn't updated in days. Days! In internet time, that’s an eternity. I picture my sneakers languishing in a warehouse, surrounded by sad, unauthenticated shoeboxes.

Are they lonely? Do they need a blanket? Is there a tiny sneaker support group forming, sharing stories of past glories and future hope?

The Stages of Stuck-ness

First, there was optimism. "Oh, it'll update tomorrow," I chirped. I was wrong.

Then came mild irritation. A gentle tapping of my foot, a furrowing of my brow. “Come on, little sneakers, you can do it!”

Next, full-blown impatience. Checking the tracking every hour. Berating the postal service in my head. Threatening to write a strongly worded letter… in crayon.

Now? I’ve reached acceptance. Maybe even a touch of zen. The sneakers will arrive when they arrive. The universe has its own schedule.

Imagining the Adventure

I've started inventing stories about their journey. Perhaps they encountered a rogue band of pigeons, demanding tribute in the form of laces.

Maybe they were briefly kidnapped by a sneaker-loving squirrel who wanted to add them to his winter stash. Or, more realistically, maybe there's just a backlog at the sorting facility.

Still, the squirrel is more fun to imagine. He’d probably try to wear them as ear muffs.

It's oddly entertaining to think about all the possibilities. Far more entertaining than endlessly refreshing a webpage.

The Anticipation Builds

The longer they’re gone, the more I appreciate them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, even for footwear.

I'm already planning our reunion. I'll clean them, admire them, maybe even take them out for a nice walk in the park (weather permitting).

I'll tell them about the squirrel. They’ll probably think I’m crazy.

So, here I wait. Patiently (mostly). Knowing that eventually, those little Air Jordans will complete their journey. They will be authenticated. They will be home.

And I will finally stop checking the tracking every hour. Probably.