Full House Making Out Is Hard To Do

Full House and the Great Make-Out Mystery

Okay, unpopular opinion time. Ready? I think making out on Full House would be...awkward.

Seriously! Think about it. It's not the squeaky clean image. It's more than that.

Hear me out.

So. Many. People.

The house is ALWAYS full! Like, the show is literally called Full House. It's not just a clever name. It's a lifestyle!

You've got Danny, the perpetually clean dad. Then there's Joey, the comedian extraordinaire. And, of course, Uncle Jesse, the heartthrob with the amazing hair.

And don't even get me started on the kids! DJ, Stephanie, Michelle... They're everywhere!

Where would you even *find* a private moment? The attic? Probably dusty and full of Uncle Jesse's Elvis memorabilia.

The kitchen? Danny would be right there, polishing the counters with lemon-scented cleaner.

Forget it. Mission impossible.

The Stares! Oh, the Stares!

Imagine trying to steal a kiss. Even a quick one! Guaranteed, someone would witness it.

Then comes the judging. The raised eyebrows. The knowing smiles. The inevitable lecture from Danny Tanner about appropriate behavior.

He would probably pull out a chart. With kissing etiquette rules. In laminated form.

No thank you! I'd rather just watch Comet chase his tail.

The Constant Interruptions

"Cut. It. Out!" Stephanie would yell that. At the most inopportune time, of course.

Michelle would demand "You got it, dude!" Also at the *worst* possible moment.

It would be like trying to navigate a minefield of catchphrases and tiny humans. A very cute minefield, granted.

Jesse's Hair Anxiety

Let's say you *did* manage to snag a date with Uncle Jesse. Congrats!

But how could you possibly make out with him without messing up his hair? It's practically a national treasure!

Every kiss would require careful choreography. Strategic head tilts. Avoidance of all potential hair product transfer.

Too much pressure! I'd be more worried about the hair than the actual kiss.

Danny's Cleaning Obsession

Picture this: You're finally alone with Danny (hypothetically, of course!). You lean in for a kiss.

Suddenly, he stops you. "Wait! Did you see that dust particle? Hold on, I need my Swiffer."

Romantic? Not so much.

The Moral of the Story?

Full House is amazing. I love the show! I love the characters! I love the corny life lessons!

But as a make-out destination? Hard pass.

Some things are better left to the imagination. And reruns. And maybe fan fiction. But definitely not reality. At least not *my* reality!

Maybe that's why we never saw much serious kissing on the show. Bob Saget probably breathed a sigh of relief every time!