Hanging Off My Earlobes Is A Rock

Yep. You read that right. A rock. Hanging off my earlobes. Two, actually. One on each side.

I see your eyebrows raised. I anticipate the gasps of horror. Maybe even a faint, "But...why?"

Let me tell you, smooth, grey river rocks are vastly underrated as fashion accessories. Especially when you consider the alternatives.

Think about it. Dangles? They get caught on everything. Hoops? So 2003. Studs? Snooze-fest. I needed something…more.

Rock On (My Ears)

My friends don’t get it. My mother definitely doesn't get it. She keeps offering me her pearl earrings. The horror!

Pearls! So… conventional. So…bridal. I'm going for a more "effortlessly earthy" vibe.

Plus, pearls are easily scratched. Rocks? Practically indestructible. Try scratching a river rock. I dare you.

The Weight of the Matter

Okay, I'll admit. They're a little heavy. My earlobes are getting a workout. Think of it as…resistance training for my ears.

Who needs face yoga when you have rocks dangling from your head? I'm probably preventing wrinkles. Or at least, delaying them.

And the weight? It's grounding! I feel more connected to the earth. Literally.

I even named them. Rocky and Boulder. I know, I know. I'm hilarious.

My boyfriend just shakes his head. He calls them my "flintstone earrings." He’s not wrong.

The Unexpected Benefits

You know what's great about wearing rocks? No one tries to steal them.

Try leaving a diamond earring unattended at a party. Gone in sixty seconds. But rocks? Safe and sound.

They also start conversations. People are genuinely curious. And slightly concerned. Which, honestly, is part of the fun.

I get to explain my…unique…fashion choices. I get to see the look on their faces. It's priceless. (Unlike diamonds, which are definitely not priceless.)

Finding the Perfect Pair

Sourcing the rocks is an adventure in itself. Beach combing? River wading? It’s like a treasure hunt for my ears!

I look for smooth stones. No sharp edges. Preferably grey, but I'm open to other earthy tones. A touch of moss is a bonus.

The size is crucial. Too small, and they're just boring. Too big, and I risk tearing my earlobes. It’s a delicate balance.

And then there's the drilling. That's a story for another day. Let’s just say it involves power tools and a healthy dose of prayer.

My Unpopular Opinion

So, there you have it. I wear rocks as earrings. I like it. It’s quirky. It’s different. It’s me.

Maybe it’s not for everyone. Maybe you think I'm crazy. Maybe you’re right. But I'm happy. And that's all that matters.

Besides, fashion is subjective, isn't it? One person's rock is another person's…well, another person’s perfectly normal, sparkly, expensive earring.

But I prefer my rocks. Don’t knock it 'til you try it. (Disclaimer: Please don't actually try this without proper drilling and safety precautions. I am not responsible for any rock-related earlobe injuries.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go reinforce my earlobes. Anyone have any super glue?