Hide The Money Yall Theres Poor People Around

Uh Oh, Here They Come!

Quick, everyone, operation "Wallet Lockdown" is a go! You hear that faint rustling? That's the sound of expectations approaching.

My grandma always said, "Don't let 'em see you happy!" And by happy, she definitely meant "don't let 'em see you with a single extra penny."

Remember that time you accidentally wore your good shoes to the grocery store? Suddenly, everyone needed help carrying their bags! True story.

Pocket Emergency!

The grocery store scenario reminds me of something. You know the feeling when you reach into your pocket, find that forgotten $20 bill, and suddenly you feel like Elon Musk? Time to tuck it back where it came from!

Because the minute someone asks, "Oh, you have money? Could you maybe..." That twenty is as good as gone.

Think of it as playing hide-and-seek... with your own finances. And you're always "it."

The Art of the Humble Brag… NOT!

Bought a new gadget? Learned a new skill? Great! Keep it to yourself!

I'm kidding...sort of. Nobody wants to hear how amazing your life is when they're battling the existential dread of a Tuesday afternoon.

Imagine telling your friend, who is stressed about work, about your amazing vacation in Bora Bora? Save the bragging for the group chat!

Strategic Downgrading

This is where the real pro-level moves begin. Someone admires your new phone? "Oh, this old thing? I got it on clearance!"

Driving a fancy car? "It's actually my grandma's! I'm just borrowing it. It smells faintly of mothballs."

Suddenly, you’re no longer a target. You're just... a responsible citizen, making do with what you have.

Mastering the Art of Evasion

Someone asks to borrow money? "Oh man, my account is so overdrawn right now. I’m practically living on ramen."

Avoid direct eye contact. Stare intently at your shoes, and clutch your wallet protectively.

Practice your "I'm broke" face in the mirror. A little bit of dramatic sighing never hurts.

Embrace the Inner Scrooge (Just Kidding… Mostly)

I'm not saying become a miserly recluse like Scrooge McDuck swimming in your money. I'm just suggesting...strategic resource management.

Think of it as protecting your precious resources for your own happiness. You worked hard for it, after all!

So, next time you feel the financial spotlight on you, remember these tips. And may the odds be ever in your favor... of keeping your money!

"A penny saved is a penny earned!" - Benjamin Franklin

Just kidding. But seriously, hide that money, y'all!