How To Build A Outboard Motor Stand

So, you're thinking about building an outboard motor stand? Awesome! Let's dive right in. Forget those fancy pre-made ones. Where's the fun in that?

The "Professional" Way (aka the Boring Way)

First, some folks will tell you to measure everything precisely. They'll drone on about load ratings and perfectly square cuts. Yawn. I say, who needs that kind of pressure?

Step 1: Wood Acquisition (or: Raiding Your Neighbor's Pile)

Wood. You'll need some. Preferably wood that isn't actively rotting. Okay, maybe slightly rotting is acceptable. After all, character, right?

Seriously though, 2x4s are your friends. Or whatever you can find cheap or free. Scrounging is a legitimate construction technique. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Step 2: The "Plans" (aka Doodling on a Napkin)

Draw something. Anything! A rectangle? A trapezoid? Abstract art? It's all good. Just make sure it vaguely resembles something that can hold an engine.

Remember, no one expects perfection. Except maybe your spouse. But they'll get over it. Probably.

Step 3: The Chop Shop (aka Making Sawdust)

Time to cut the wood! A saw is helpful. Any saw, really. A rusty handsaw? Sure! A chainsaw? Why not add some drama?

Safety glasses? Optional. (Just kidding! Wear safety glasses. I'm not liable for your DIY mishaps.)

Step 4: Assembly (aka Hoping It Doesn't Fall Apart)

Screws are your best friends here. Or nails. Or duct tape. The point is, attach the pieces of wood to each other. Convince them to stay together.

If it looks wobbly, add more screws. Or duct tape. Duct tape fixes everything. It's basically the WD-40 of the structural world.

Step 5: The "Test" (aka Praying)

Now for the moment of truth! Carefully place your outboard motor on your creation. Take a deep breath.

If it holds, you're a genius! If it collapses... well, that's why you have duct tape. And a good sense of humor.

The Unpopular Opinion

Here's the thing: it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to hold the motor. We're not building a rocket ship, people. We're building a glorified piece of furniture.

Those fancy, expensive stands? Overkill. Pure, unadulterated overkill. Save your money for something important. Like more boat stuff.

And let's be honest, the more "rustic" your stand looks, the more impressive your DIY skills seem. People will assume you're some kind of seasoned craftsman. Even if you're not.

Plus, who needs instructions? Improvisation is the key to a truly unique and memorable motor stand. Embrace the chaos! Embrace the wonkiness!

Finishing Touches (aka Making It Look Semi-Respectable)

Paint is optional. But recommended. It hides the imperfections. And makes it look less like you found it in a dumpster.

Bonus points if you paint it a ridiculous color. Bright orange? Hot pink? Go wild! It's your masterpiece.

And there you have it! Your very own, slightly terrifying, but ultimately functional, outboard motor stand. Now go forth and conquer the high seas! (Or at least your driveway.)

Remember to always handle your outboard motor with care, even on its new throne.