How To Throw A Sinker With A Blitzball

Okay, so you've got a Blitzball. Maybe you saw it on TV, maybe your neighbor's kid chucked one over the fence. Whatever the reason, you’re now holding this weird, wiffle-ball-looking sphere, and you're thinking, "Can I make this thing dance?"

The answer, my friend, is a resounding YES. And we're not talking about the Macarena. We're talking about the sinker, the pitch that embarrasses batters and makes you feel like a wizard.

Grip It and Rip It (Sort Of)

Forget everything you know about baseball grips. This isn't about pinpoint accuracy; it's about controlled chaos. The sinker starts with how you hold the Blitzball. Think about gripping a doorknob, but maybe one you're slightly annoyed with.

Place your index and middle fingers close together, somewhere along the seam. Your thumb goes underneath, providing support. Don't strangle it; this isn't a hostage situation. Keep it loose. Think of gently holding a baby bird, but a baby bird that might bite.

The Release: More Flop Than Flick

Here's where the magic (or madness) happens. As you throw, focus on rotating your wrist inward. Instead of snapping down, imagine you are trying to "chop" the ball downwards. It's more of a flop than a flick, really. The Blitzball will do the rest.

Don't be afraid to experiment! That's the beauty of the Blitzball. Some people swear by a three-quarter arm slot. Others go full sidearm, channeling their inner Randy Johnson (minus the velocity, probably). Just let your arm do what feels natural.

The Art of the Fail: Embrace the Wildness

Your first few attempts might resemble a wounded duck attempting flight. This is perfectly normal. The Blitzball sinker is a fickle beast. It lives to defy logic and embarrass even the most seasoned pitchers. But that’s the fun!

Don't get discouraged if your sinker starts out more like a cutter... or a slider... or a knuckleball that accidentally hits the backstop. It's all part of the learning process, and besides, your friends will get a kick out of your wildness (hopefully not literally).

Remember that time your friend tried to throw a curveball and nearly dislocated his shoulder? It’s kind of like that. Except, hopefully less painful (and more successful eventually).

The (Potential) Payoff: Batters Beware

After enough practice (and probably a few sore elbows), you might just start to see some results. That satisfying downward break, the weak ground ball, the bewildered look on your opponent's face. It’s all worth it.

The best part? Blitzball is supposed to be fun. Don't take it too seriously. If your sinker turns into a knuckleball that somehow finds the strike zone, embrace it. That's the beauty of this game: the unexpected, the ridiculous, and the pure, unadulterated joy of making a plastic ball do something physics says it shouldn't.

So go out there, grip it, flop it, and watch that Blitzball dance! Just maybe wear a cup.