I Remember When I Lost My Mind Slow

You know, I've been thinking a lot lately about losing my mind. Not in a scary way, more like… a slow, gradual letting go of the reins. Like releasing a flock of brightly colored balloons, one by one, into the vast blue sky of, well, whatever it is that passes for my consciousness these days.

It wasn’t a sudden, dramatic event. No lightning strike, no overnight amnesia courtesy of a rogue coconut to the head. It was more like a leaky faucet, dripping away drop by precious drop. A slow, almost imperceptible fade.

The First Signs of Fading

I first noticed it with keys. Oh, the keys! Remember the days when you just *knew* where your keys were? Those golden days are gone. Now it’s a frantic pat-down ritual involving every pocket, purse, and possible nook and cranny of the house.

And the sheer joy when you finally find them! Sometimes, I celebrate with a little victory dance. My cat, Mittens, mostly just stares, judging.

Then came the names. I'd be chatting away, perfectly animated, only to hit a brick wall when I tried to recall my neighbor’s name, Bob. I knew he had a dog! A fluffy… uh… thing. It’s torture!

The Grocery Store Gauntlet

The grocery store became a battleground. A colorful, overwhelming, strategically designed-to-confuse-me battleground. I'd walk in with a list (mostly legible) and emerge an hour later with everything except what I needed.

I swear they move things around just to mess with me. One day, the pickles are on aisle 5, the next they’ve relocated to aisle 12, near the exotic cheeses I have no intention of buying.

And don't even get me started on self-checkout. It's like trying to defuse a bomb, except instead of wires, you're battling rogue barcodes and a voice that keeps yelling, “Unexpected item in the bagging area!”

Embracing the Absurdity

But here's the thing: I've decided to embrace it! I've stopped fighting the inevitable and started finding the humor in it all. If I can't remember why I walked into a room, well, maybe there’s a good reason!

Maybe I was destined to discover that lost sock under the sofa. Or maybe I was just meant to admire the dust bunnies. Who knows?

I've even started keeping a notebook just to jot down these random thoughts. It’s filled with gems like "Remember to buy… something green" and "Did I feed Goldie the goldfish today? (Probably not.)"

The Unexpected Perks

Honestly, there are perks to this slow descent into mental disarray. My life has become a constant source of surprise. Every day is like opening a mystery box!

I rediscover old hobbies, forgotten conversations, and half-eaten snacks hidden in the most unexpected places. It’s like a treasure hunt, except the treasure is mostly stale crackers.

And you know what? I’m okay with that. I'm learning to live in the moment, to appreciate the simple things. To laugh at myself when I put my phone in the fridge (again).

So, if you see me wandering around the grocery store, muttering to myself and patting my pockets frantically, don't worry. I haven't actually lost my mind. I've just misplaced it for a moment. Probably somewhere between the pickles and the exotic cheeses. It might take a while to find.

Just smile, wave, and maybe point me towards the batteries. I always forget the batteries.

And remember, losing your mind slowly isn't so bad. It’s just another adventure!