I Swear To God I Swear To God You Stupid
Okay, let’s talk about something. Something we all think but rarely say out loud.
It's the exasperated sigh. The internal scream. The silent mantra: "I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid!"
The Universal Truth
We've all been there. Staring blankly at someone doing something… baffling. Something so illogical it defies explanation.
Like, someone trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Literally. Or maybe metaphorically. The point is, *you* know better.
And the "I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid!" wells up inside.
The Grocery Store Saga
Picture this: the express lane. The sign clearly states "10 items or less."
Then Brenda shows up with what looks like the entire contents of a small pantry. Seriously Brenda?
My internal monologue goes straight to: "I swear to God, Brenda, I swear to God you stupid! Can't you read a sign?!"
The Parking Lot Puzzles
Don't even get me started on parking. People who park diagonally across two spots deserve a special kind of recognition.
A "You're Officially Blocking Everyone and Should Re-evaluate Your Life Choices" award. Maybe a cone permanently affixed to their car?
The inner you just scream: I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid!
The Technology Trials
And then there's technology. The bane of many existences. Especially mine.
Watching someone struggle with a simple task on their phone. Click bait links every where.
I swear to God, I swear to God, I am pretty sure you are stupid!
The Disclaimer (Because We Have To)
Of course, we don't *actually* think these people are inherently stupid. Okay, maybe a little. Just kidding!
Everyone has their moments. We all have brain farts and make questionable decisions.
It's just… some moments are more "I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid!"-worthy than others.
Embrace the Imperfection
Maybe it's not about intelligence. Maybe it's about awareness. Or lack thereof.
Maybe it's about that special kind of obliviousness that only some people can achieve. The *true obliviousness*.
Whatever it is, it provides excellent comedic material. And fuels our internal rants. Let's enjoy.
A Call to Action (Sort Of)
So, the next time you witness something that makes you want to scream "I swear to God, I swear to God, you stupid!" just take a deep breath.
Remember that we are all in this together. In the grand comedy of human existence.
And maybe, just maybe, offer a *gentle* suggestion. Or don't. Your call. But for God's sake, keep it kind. Mostly.
Just kidding!(Mostly).
Okay, I swear you can continue with your day.
