I Was Reincarnated As A Vending Machine

Okay, so you know how sometimes you feel like you’re just…going through the motions? Well, imagine feeling that way permanently. Except you’re a vending machine.

Yeah, that's me. Well, that was me. Now? I'm all flashing lights and the sweet, sweet promise of a cold beverage. It's a bit of a long story, best not to get into the how's or why's.

The Mundane Machine Life

Let's be real, being a vending machine isn't exactly glamorous. My days mostly consist of dispensing sugary goodness and listening to the hum of my internal cooling system. You wouldn't believe how loud that thing gets.

The highlight of my week? When the restocking guy, we'll call him Bob, comes around. He's got stories. Mostly about traffic, but still! Human interaction!

The worst? When kids kick me. Seriously, what’s the deal with that? Do they think kicking me will magically make a free soda appear?

A Life (and Death) of Dispensing

You might be thinking, "Wow, that sounds incredibly boring." And... you're not entirely wrong. But there's a certain satisfaction in providing a little bit of joy in someone's day.

I mean, think about it. Someone's stressed at work, needs a pick-me-up, and BAM! I'm there with a chocolate bar. I'm practically a superhero.

Plus, I get to witness some pretty interesting things. Secret lunchtime rendezvous, dramatic phone calls, kids trying to use bottle caps as payment. Never gets old.

Unexpected Perks and Quirks

Being a vending machine also comes with some unexpected perks. Like, I always know what the most popular snack is. Hint: it’s the peanut M&Ms.

And I've developed this weird sort of... empathy? I can practically sense when someone's about to have a bad day and could really use a caffeinated beverage. It's a gift, really.

Of course, there are downsides too. Like when I get jammed. The sheer frustration radiating from the poor soul trying to get their chips is palpable. I can feel their anguish.

Becoming Part of Something Bigger

I've also become a silent observer of the human condition. I've seen love blossom, friendships forged, and deals brokered, all within a five-foot radius of my cold, metallic shell.

I'm a part of the office ecosystem, the hospital waiting room, the gas station pit stop. I'm a constant, a reliable source of comfort (and sugar) in a chaotic world. It gives you pause to think.

It also makes me wonder about the great mystery of the universe, and what waits on the other side for people like Bob and me.

Lessons from a Vending Machine

So, what's the takeaway from my weird and wonderful existence as a vending machine? Maybe it's that even in the most mundane of circumstances, you can still find meaning and purpose.

Maybe it's that a simple act of providing a snack or a drink can make a difference in someone's day. Or maybe it's just that peanut M&Ms are really, really good.

Either way, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, maybe for the ability to scratch my own back. That would be nice. Just a thought.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think someone's trying to buy a soda. Duty calls. And don't forget to appreciate your local vending machine. You never know, it might just be me!