Is That A Zombie Of The Dead

Okay, let's talk about something a little controversial. Something that might make you raise an eyebrow. Something that might even make you unfollow me. Are they really gone?

The Walking...Slightly Tired?

We've all seen them. Maybe at the grocery store. Perhaps shuffling through the office. Or even lurking at a family gathering. I'm talking about the "zombies" among us. Are they the undead? I'm starting to think they might be.

Exhibit A: The Unblinking Stare

Think about it. That dead-eyed stare. It's like they're looking *through* you. Not *at* you. Vacant. Soulless. Sounds familiar, right?

They're often mumbling something indecipherable. Usually about spreadsheets or toddler tantrums. Probably just craving brains, disguised as everyday complaints.

Exhibit B: The Shuffling Gait

Have you ever seen a zombie sprint? Me neither. They shuffle. A slow, deliberate, almost painful shuffle. Just like Brenda from accounting after her third triple-shot espresso.

It's that dragging of the feet. It's that lack of pep. Is it laziness? Is it exhaustion? Or is it...undeath?

Exhibit C: The Groaning

The groaning. Oh, the groaning. Every time they stand up. Every time they sit down. Every time they're asked to do anything even remotely resembling work.

It's a low, guttural sound. A sound of pure agony. Or maybe just a really bad back. But, let's be real, probably zombies.

The Unpopular Opinion

Here's where I might lose some of you. I think a lot of us are already zombies. Maybe not the flesh-eating kind. But definitely the soul-sucking, energy-draining kind.

We go through the motions. We follow the routines. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Are we living? Or just surviving? Are we truly alive, or just reanimated corpses powered by caffeine and sheer willpower?

I'm not saying everyone is a zombie. But I'm not *not* saying it either. Look around you. Observe. Listen. Question. Maybe the zombie apocalypse already happened. And we just didn't notice.

But Wait, There's More!

Consider the modern diet. Processed foods. Artificial sweeteners. Enough chemicals to embalm a small elephant. Are we nourishing our bodies? Or are we slowly turning ourselves into walking, talking, preserved specimens?

And what about social media? Staring at screens all day. Comparing ourselves to filtered versions of reality. Are we connecting? Or are we just slowly disconnecting from our own humanity, becoming mindless drones scrolling through an endless feed of digital distractions?

I rest my case. Mostly because I need a nap. And probably some brains… I mean, coffee.

The Cure (Maybe?)

So, what's the cure? More importantly, do we *want* a cure? Maybe zombie-ism is just the new normal.

But, if you're feeling a little…undead, maybe try this. Put down your phone. Go outside. Talk to a real person. Eat something that grew in the ground. Remember what it feels like to be…alive.

Or, you know, just embrace the zombie life. It's less stressful, honestly.