Morgue Worker Arrested After Giving Birth To Dead Man's Baby

Hold on to Your Stethoscopes, Folks!

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this story is a rollercoaster with loop-de-loops made of pure, unadulterated "Wait, what?!" I'm talking a headline so bonkers, it makes a squirrel in a tutu seem perfectly normal.

Picture this: A morgue worker, let's call her...Brenda, because why not? Brenda, apparently, decided the afterlife needed a little…complication. And by complication, I mean a baby.

The Stork's Gone Rogue!

Not just any baby, mind you. Oh no, that would be too easy. This baby, according to reports, was allegedly fathered by a, shall we say, former resident of Brenda's workplace. A resident who wasn't exactly signing autographs anymore.

I know, I know! Your brain just did a backflip. Mine too! We're talking about a stork that took a wrong turn at Albuquerque and ended up in, well, a very chilly destination.

This is like a soap opera plot written by a caffeinated chimpanzee. You just can't make this stuff up!

From Autopsy Room to Delivery Room?

Now, the details are still fuzzier than my grandma's TV reception. We don't know exactly how this happened. I mean, did she have a lab and a magic wand? Was there a late night party in the cooler?

I am not even trying to guess on the scientific part of this case because I am pretty sure I'll never figure it out. But the police seem to think something hinky was going on because Brenda was arrested.

The whole situation raises so many questions like how? And why? And does the baby get free health insurance for life courtesy of the, uh, circumstances of their conception?

The "CSI: Fertility Clinic" Episode We Didn't Ask For

Law enforcement folks are investigating, probably scratching their heads and wondering if they accidentally walked onto the set of a very bizarre movie. It's like a real-life episode of "CSI: Fertility Clinic" except, you know, way creepier.

You gotta feel for the investigators here, I think. You know, for the poor guy that has to write the incident report. How do you even start to classify this?!

The poor baby involved, well. What a story to tell at the school's "How I was born?" day.

Moral of the Story?

Okay, so what's the takeaway from all this delightful absurdity? Well, for starters, it proves that reality is often stranger and funnier than fiction.

It's also a gentle reminder that maybe, just maybe, some professions are better left strictly professional. Though, to be fair, Brenda may need help. Who knows her reasons?

So next time you're having a bad day, remember Brenda and her "interesting" life choices. It's guaranteed to make you feel at least a little bit better about your own. Or at least distract you for five minutes!

"Keep it weird," Brenda probably never said, but maybe should have as her motto.

Seriously, though, let's hope everyone involved gets the help they need, especially the baby. It's a wild world out there, folks! Stay safe and keep your shenanigans to a reasonable level of craziness.