Rum Is For Drinking Not Burning Lyrics

Okay, let's be honest. We've all heard the sea shanties. We've seen the movies. We *think* we know pirate life. But I have a confession.

It's a slightly controversial one. Prepare yourselves. My unpopular opinion?

Rum is for *drinking*, not burning. There. I said it.

The Burning Question (Pun Intended)

Think about it. You're a pirate, right? Life at sea is rough. It's salty. It's probably a bit smelly.

You finally land on shore. You've got your loot. You've got some free time. What are you going to do with your precious rum?

Are you really going to pour it all over the place? Set it alight like some kind of boozy bonfire? I think not!

But... But the Movies!

I know, I know. Pirates of the Caribbean has warped our minds. Remember Jack Sparrow dramatically throwing rum onto a fire?

Seemed cool, right? Epic, even. But let's get real. Jack Sparrow was also constantly broke. Coincidence?

Maybe he just hadn't learned the true value of a good bottle. He probably regretted it later.

A Pirate's Priorities (Besides Loot)

Imagine the scenario. You're tired. You're thirsty. You're craving something other than seawater.

Are you going to waste your liquid gold on some fleeting flames? Or are you going to savor every single drop?

I'm going with the latter. Every. Single. Drop.

Consider the Alternatives

Need light? There's oil for lamps! Want to make a grand entrance? Fireworks exist! Feeling dramatic? Just yell really loudly.

There are plenty of ways to express yourself without sacrificing perfectly good rum.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Your rum is precious. Treat it with respect.

The "Benefits" of Burning... Debunked!

Some might argue burning rum has practical purposes. Like sanitizing wounds! Or sending signals!

Okay, maybe. But wouldn't you rather use...I don't know...clean water for wounds? And a flag for signals?

There's a reason why doctors don't recommend dousing cuts with spiced rum. Trust me on this one.

My Final Plea

Next time you see someone theatrically pouring rum onto a fire, stage an intervention. Kindly, of course.

Offer them a glass. Explain the error of their ways. Help them appreciate the true magic of a well-aged spirit.

Let's start a movement. A movement for responsible rum consumption. A movement against senseless burning.

Join me! Who's with me? Let's raise a glass (of unburnt rum, naturally!) to a more sensible future.

Remember: Rum is for drinking. Not burning. Ever.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk... but with more potential for a nice buzz.