Sine Yo Pitty On The Runny Kine

Okay, let's talk about something a little controversial. Something we've all experienced. Are you ready for it?

I'm talking about… *drumroll* … runny ketchup.

The Great Ketchup Debate

We've all been there. You squeeze the bottle, anticipating that perfect dollop. Instead? A watery, vinegary mess explodes onto your plate.

Is there anything worse? I, for one, say no.

Runny Ketchup: An Unpopular Opinion

Look, I know what some of you are thinking. "It's just ketchup! Get over it!" But hear me out.

Runny ketchup is an insult to the condiment world. It disrespects the burger. It mocks the french fry.

It has no structural integrity. It's basically tomato soup pretending to be something better.

And don’t even get me started on the mess! That thin, red liquid seeping into every crevice of your plate. It’s a culinary crime scene.

The Thick and Thin of It

Some people argue that runny ketchup is just the "natural juices." That it means the ketchup is fresh.

I call baloney! Give me thick, luscious, perfectly textured ketchup any day.

I want ketchup that stands tall, that makes a statement. Not some watery imposter.

Plus, thick ketchup clings to your food. It doesn’t slide off in a sad, vinegary stream.

The Texture Test: Pass or Fail?

Think about it. When you picture the ideal ketchup, what do you see? A thick, glossy mound, right?

Not a watery puddle. Not a separated mess. A perfect, ketchup-y mountain. We must demand better ketchup quality.

That’s the ketchup of our dreams. The ketchup that deserves a place on our tables.

The Solution?

So, what can we do about this runny ketchup epidemic? We need to hold ketchup manufacturers accountable.

Demand thicker, more consistent ketchup! Boycott the watery stuff! (Okay, maybe not boycott, but definitely complain).

Or maybe, just maybe, we can embrace the runny. But who are we kidding? No one likes watery ketchup. Absolutely no one!

Embrace the Ketchup Snob Within

It's okay to be picky about your ketchup. It's okay to have standards. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

We are ketchup connoisseurs. We deserve the best.

So next time you reach for the ketchup, take a moment. Give it a little squeeze test.

Is it thick? Is it luscious? Is it everything you’ve ever dreamed of in a condiment? If not, send it back!

Let’s unite against the runny ketchup menace. Let's demand the thick, delicious ketchup we deserve. I implore you. Join me in the fight against bad ketchup.

Who’s with me?