Solomon Grundy Born On A Monday Injustice

Okay, let's talk about a seriously misunderstood dude: Solomon Grundy. You know, the zombie guy? Yeah, that guy.

Now, most folks just see a big, shambling brute. A mindless monster. But I'm here to tell you, that's just plain WRONG.

The Rhyme Doesn't Lie (Except Maybe It Does)

Everyone knows the rhyme, right? "Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday..." It’s catchy! It’s… totally unfair!

Think about it. His whole LIFE is crammed into one week! One measly week! That's like writing someone's entire autobiography on a napkin.

He's born, he gets married (on Tuesday, apparently!), he gets sick, he dies. All in seven days! That’s faster than my internet downloading a movie these days!

A Week in the Life (of a Zombie, Apparently)

So, let’s break down this injustice, day by day. Monday? Birth. Okay, fine. Babies sleep a lot anyway.

Tuesday? Married! Hold on a second. Married?! Who marries someone the day after they’re born?! Talk about a whirlwind romance! That’s faster than finding a matching sock in my laundry.

Wednesday, sick? Man, that honeymoon period didn’t last long. Maybe the wedding cake was bad. Zombie digestive systems, you know?

Thursday, worse. Because being just "sick" wasn't enough, apparently. What's worse than sick? Bedridden with a bad case of zombie-flu?

Friday, died. Seriously?! One week! My houseplants live longer than Solomon Grundy! And I’m notoriously bad at keeping plants alive.

Saturday, buried. At least he got a decent burial. I hope they put a nice tombstone. Maybe one that says, "He deserved better."

Sunday, end. And that’s it! His entire existence is summarized in a nursery rhyme. It's like a Shakespearean tragedy... but shorter and less… Shakespearean.

The Real Injustice League

So, where's the Injustice, you ask? Besides the obvious brevity of his existence? Well, consider this:

He's constantly being judged based on this ridiculously compressed life! People expect him to be a certain way because of a RHYME!

Imagine if YOUR life was judged by a haiku. You wouldn’t be happy, would you? "Woke up, drank coffee, / Work, then binge-watch TV shows, / Sleep. Repeat again." Doesn't quite capture the nuance, does it?

Justice for Grundy!

I propose we re-evaluate Solomon Grundy. Let’s forget the rhyme for a second. Okay, maybe just for a few minutes.

Let’s see him as a character capable of growth, change, and maybe even… happiness? (Even zombie happiness! It's a thing!).

Maybe he just needs a hug. Or a therapist. Or a really, really good nap. He's had a rough week, after all. A very, very compressed rough week.

So next time you see Solomon Grundy, don't just think "monster." Think about the injustice. Think about the week that was. And maybe, just maybe, offer him a little empathy. And maybe some brains… but only if he asks nicely.

Let’s give Grundy a break. He was born on a Monday. What else did you expect?