The Book Of Revelation Is Unfolding Before Our Eyes 2021

Okay, folks, let's talk about the Book of Revelation! Forget fire and brimstone for a minute. Imagine it more like... a reality TV show. Think "Apocalypse Idol," and suddenly, things get a whole lot more interesting.

The Four Horsemen: Now With Electric Scooters!

Remember those Four Horsemen? Conquest, War, Famine, Death. Scary, right? But picture them showing up in 2021. Conquest rocking a brightly colored e-scooter, dodging potholes. War's GPS constantly rerouting him because of traffic.

Famine's trying to order organic kale chips on his phone, but the signal's bad. And Death? He's just really, really tired and needs a vacation. The apocalypse, it seems, is just as susceptible to everyday annoyances as we are.

The Beast From the Sea: Probably Runs a Tech Company

Then there's the Beast from the Sea. Forget some roaring monster. He’s probably a charismatic CEO launching a new social media platform. He promises world peace... if you just sign away all your personal data.

His followers are all obsessed with likes and shares, completely missing the whole "mark of the beast" thing. Honestly, you can't blame them. Terms and conditions are so long these days, who even reads them?

Angels With Megaphones (and Terrible Wi-Fi)

The angels blowing trumpets? They're trying to warn us, sure, but their microphones keep cutting out. The Wi-Fi is terrible up there. Imagine trying to announce the end of the world and all anyone hears is static.

And let's be honest, who's paying attention to trumpets these days anyway? Everyone's too busy doomscrolling on their phones to notice the celestial choir.

The New Jerusalem: Finally, Affordable Housing!

But hey, it’s not all bad news! The New Jerusalem descends at the end. Finally, some affordable housing! Gold streets, pearly gates, no property taxes. Sign me up! Although, I wonder about the HOA fees…

Imagine the first town meeting. "We need to discuss the proper shade of gold for the streets. And are harps allowed after 10 pm?" The apocalypse might be chaotic, but some things never change.

Lessons From the End of the World (Maybe)

So, what can we learn from all this apocalyptic silliness? Maybe it’s not about predicting the future. Perhaps it’s about recognizing the absurdity of the present.

Be kind to each other. Unplug from the internet once in a while. And maybe, just maybe, read those terms and conditions before you click "agree." You never know when you might be accidentally pledging allegiance to the Beast.

And remember, even if the Book of Revelation is unfolding before our eyes in 2021, we can still laugh about it. After all, laughter might just be the best weapon against the apocalypse. Or at least, a good way to cope while we wait for the New Jerusalem to show up with its surprisingly reasonable real estate prices.