The Curse Of The Dragon Slayer

So, you’ve slain a dragon? Congratulations! Really, that’s… great. But let’s be honest. Nobody talks about the after. The dragon slayer’s curse is real, folks.

The "Hero" Glow Fades Fast

Remember the parades? The songs they wrote about you? Cherish them. Because that "hero" glow? It has a limited-time warranty. My unpopular opinion? It expires faster than milk left out in the sun.

Suddenly, everyone expects you to solve *all* their problems. Lost your cat? Dragon slayer’s got this! Burnt toast? Hero to the rescue! I get it, you're awesome, but give a guy a break!

Romance? Forget About It.

Think you're going to be swimming in potential partners? Think again. Dating after dragon slaying is… complicated.

Either they’re intimidated. Or they’re only interested in you for the *story*. “Oh, tell me again how you fought the Great Fire-Breather!” It's exhausting! Dating profiles basically read: "Looking for someone who doesn't constantly bring up dragons."

And let's not forget the gold diggers! Suddenly, distant relatives emerge. Everyone needs a "small loan" for a "business opportunity." It's enough to make you wish you'd left the hoard with the dragon.

The Unexpected Skills Gap

Turns out, slaying dragons doesn't translate to *every* job. You’d think “expert fire extinguisher” would be a valuable skill. Nope. Doesn’t pay the bills.

Applying for a barista position and they ask about foam art? Please, I've dodged fireballs the size of cars! But apparently, steaming milk is a completely different beast.

The Therapy Bills Are Real

Don't even get me started on the PTSD. Nightmares about scales and fire. Random urges to hoard gold. You know, normal hero stuff.

And the therapists? They all want to write a book about you. “My Life With A Dragon Slayer.” No thanks. I'm trying to *avoid* talking about the dragon, not relive it for profit.

The Real Monster: Bureaucracy

The paperwork! Oh, the paperwork! You'd think saving the kingdom would get you a free pass on taxes. You'd be wrong.

The forms! The permits! Turns out, even slaying a dragon requires filling out a form 27-B, subsection delta. And good luck finding *that* form in triplicate!

And insurance? Try explaining to your insurance company that a dragon caused the damage. They just don't understand "Acts of Dragon."

So, Should You Slay the Dragon?

Look, I'm not saying *don't* slay the dragon. Someone's gotta do it, right?

Just be prepared. Prepare for the fame to fade. Prepare for the awkward dates. Prepare for the mountains of paperwork. And most importantly, prepare for the curse of the dragon slayer. It's a real thing. You've been warned!

Maybe just... consider hiring a really good accountant afterwards? Trust me on this one. You'll need it.