The Maid I Hired Recently Is Mysterious Lilith

Okay, so you know how life gets crazy busy? Between work, trying to remember to water my succulents (RIP, Kevin), and attempting to decipher my cat's existential meows, cleaning often falls by the wayside. That's why I finally caved and hired a maid.

Her name is Lilith. Seemed normal enough during the interview. Pleasant, efficient, and her references checked out. Little did I know, I was about to enter a world of sparkling floors... and a whole lot of bewilderment.

The First Clue: The Lavender

The first time Lilith came, I left her a list: bathrooms, kitchen, dusting. Standard stuff. I came home to a house so clean it looked like a showroom. But that wasn't the weird part.

Everywhere, and I mean everywhere, were sprigs of lavender. Under the pillows, tucked into the corners of the shower, even nestled amongst my succulents (sorry, past Kevins!). I asked her about it the next week.

"Oh," she said, with a perfectly straight face, "it wards off negative energy. Dust bunnies are surprisingly draining."

The Cat Whisperer

My cat, Bartholomew, usually hides from strangers. He's a fluffy ball of suspicion and judgment. But with Lilith? He's practically her shadow.

He follows her around, purring like a tiny engine. He even lets her brush him, which is something he usually only tolerates from me for approximately 3.7 seconds. She clearly has some serious feline mojo going on.

I once walked in on them and Lilith was whispering something to Bartholomew and he tilted his head like he understood her. It was then I knew something was up.

The Ancient Cleaning Solutions

Forget your Windex and Mr. Clean. Lilith’s cleaning supplies are…unique. She has these amber-colored bottles filled with concoctions that smell vaguely of herbs and sunshine.

One time, I accidentally spilled some on the counter. It didn't stain, but it did make my kitchen smell like a magical forest for the rest of the day. I swear, my sourdough starter has been extra bubbly ever since.

The Books

I started noticing books. Not just any books, but old, leather-bound tomes with titles like "Herbology for Home Harmony" and "The Subtle Art of Dusting (and Divination)." They were tucked away in the cleaning supply closet.

I peeked inside one. It was filled with strange symbols and handwritten notes about the cleansing properties of cinnamon and the banishing power of vinegar. Now, I'm no expert, but it definitely wasn't your average cleaning manual.

So, Mysterious, But Effective

Look, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with Lilith. She might be a witch. She might be a highly skilled aromatherapist. She might just have a very eccentric approach to cleaning.

But my house has never been cleaner. And my cat seems genuinely happy. So, who am I to judge?

Besides, a little bit of mystery keeps life interesting.

I am considering asking her if she knows anything about reviving dying succulents, though.

Maybe I should offer her a raise. I'm calling it, the best mysterious help I've ever hired, she is really the best mysterious Maid I've ever hired.

At least, I hope she keeps my house clean and keep my cat purring, then I don't care even she is a fairy or something.