What We Do In The Shadows Emotional Vampire

Okay, let's be honest. We all know someone like Colin Robinson from What We Do In The Shadows. The energy vampire, right? But here's my slightly unpopular opinion: he's not the worst roommate.

Hear Me Out!

I know, I know. He drains your life force by droning on about spreadsheets. And reciting every single word of a public domain email. But think about it.

At least he's not Nandor constantly yelling "BAT!" He doesn't accidentally hypnotize you like Laszlo. And he's definitely less likely to kill you (out of incompetence) than Nadja.

The Silent Supporter (Sort Of)

Consider the positives! Colin isn't demanding. He doesn't care what you do. He just wants to bore you into submission.

That's almost… supportive? In a weird, soul-crushing kind of way.

He's Predictable

You always know what you're getting with Colin. A lengthy, pointless explanation of municipal zoning laws. A detailed breakdown of beige paint swatches. Pure, unadulterated boredom.

But predictability is a comfort. Especially when you live with actual vampires.

Think of the Savings!

He doesn't drink blood. He eats… whatever. Mostly human food. The most expense you'll incur is paying for his online classes to learn a new way to bore you.

No need to find virgin blood. No elaborate feeding schemes. Just… dullness. It's practically budget-friendly!

He's (Sometimes) Useful

Remember that time Colin single-handedly drained an entire office building during that retreat? Nandor, Nadja, and Laszlo couldn't have done that. Only our guy can inflict that damage.

He's a weapon of mass boredom. Use him wisely.

The Reality Check

Let's face it, we all have a little Colin Robinson in us. That friend who talks too much. That family member who loves to complain. The coworker who sends endless emails.

He just embodies it perfectly. And with supernatural powers.

Embrace the Boredom

So, maybe having an emotional vampire as a roommate isn't ideal. But it could be worse. Much, much worse.

At least you'll never be bored of complaining about him. He is boring after all!

My Final Verdict

Look, I'm not saying I'd *choose* to live with Colin Robinson. But if I was stuck in a house with vampires? He'd be my first pick for roommate.

Bring on the spreadsheets! I’ll stock up on coffee and noise-cancelling headphones. It’s a small price to pay for not being eaten.