Who Wants To Gnaw On Human Bones

Okay, let's be honest. Human bones. Kinda creepy, right?

The Usual Suspects (and Why They're Wrong)

When you think "bone-gnawer," wolves probably pop into your head. Or maybe hyenas. Those guys are hardcore.

But they usually go for animal bones. Deer and caribou, not Uncle Jerry. Let's keep things that way, please.

Bugs! (Ew)

Alright, fine. Bugs do decompose things. But do they *gnaw*? I think not. They're more like tiny, creepy vacuums.

And let's not even talk about what kinds of bugs we're talking about. Shivers. Moving on!

Vultures: The Sky Cleaners

Vultures are scavengers. They tidy up what's left behind. But are they *gnawing* bones? Mostly, they're going for softer stuff first.

They're nature's sanitation workers. Respect!

My Unpopular Opinion (Brace Yourselves!)

Okay, deep breath. Here it comes.

Maybe...just maybe...*nobody* actually *wants* to gnaw on human bones. Hear me out!

Think about it. Are we the most appetizing option? Probably not.

We're Kinda Gross, Let's Be Real

We eat processed foods. We take medicine. We spend too much time in front of screens. Our bones probably taste like Cheetos dust and existential dread.

A nice, grass-fed cow? Now that's a meal! Sorry, not sorry.

Other Bones Are Easier (and Less Judgy)

Animal bones are lying around everywhere. Less paperwork. Less emotional baggage. Less chance of becoming a ghost story.

Why bother with us when there's a perfectly good chicken carcass down the street? Makes sense, right?

So, Who *Really* Wants Our Bones?

Maybe it's not about *wanting*. Maybe it's just opportunistic snacking. A last resort kind of thing.

Or maybe it's just a good story. A way to scare people around the campfire.

But deep down, I think even the most dedicated scavengers would prefer a juicy steak. Don't @ me.

The Verdict?

I propose we declare human bones officially unappetizing. Let’s make it a universal truth.

Let's give those poor scavengers something tastier to munch on. Like… leftover pizza?

So, next time you're worrying about who wants your bones, relax. They probably don't. And isn't that a comforting thought?