What Happens When You Cut Off A Narcissist

The aftermath of severing ties with a narcissist can be chaotic and manipulative. Victims report a predictable pattern of behaviors aimed at regaining control.

Cutting off a narcissist, also known as going "no contact," triggers a range of reactions. These reactions are attempts to re-establish dominance and manipulate the situation back in their favor.

The Initial Fallout

Immediately following the cutoff, expect an escalation of tactics. These are aimed at breaking down your resolve and forcing you back into the relationship. Expect an initial barrage of communication: calls, texts, emails, and social media messages.

This initial phase often involves love bombing. This is a manipulative tactic where the narcissist showers you with affection, apologies, and promises of change. This is designed to exploit your vulnerabilities and trigger feelings of guilt or obligation.

Conversely, they might resort to threats and intimidation. Defamation campaigns, spreading rumors, and even stalking are common. These tactics are intended to scare you into submission.

Understanding Hoovering Tactics

Hoovering is a term used to describe the techniques narcissists employ to "suck" you back into the relationship. This can take many forms. It can be anything from seemingly innocent messages checking in to elaborate scenarios designed to elicit sympathy or concern.

Common hoovering attempts include: Contacting mutual friends or family members to relay messages. Fabricating emergencies or crises to force you to respond. Showing up unexpectedly at places you frequent. Playing the victim and claiming to be struggling without you.

These tactics are designed to exploit your empathy. They will continue until they succeed in breaking your resolve.

The Impact on Victims

The experience of cutting off a narcissist can be incredibly traumatic. Victims often experience intense emotional distress. Anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress symptoms are common.

According to a 2023 study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, victims of narcissistic abuse are at a higher risk of developing mental health issues. The study reported increased risks of anxiety, depression, and complex PTSD. The study surveyed 250 participants who had experienced narcissistic abuse.

Maintaining no contact is crucial for recovery. It allows the victim to heal and rebuild their life free from the narcissist's influence.

Maintaining No Contact

Staying strong requires unwavering resolve. Block the narcissist's number, email address, and social media accounts. Avoid contact with mutual friends or family members who might try to mediate or relay messages.

Seek support from a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse. Connecting with other survivors can provide validation and understanding.

Document all instances of contact or harassment. This is important for legal protection and helps maintain perspective. Remember that succumbing to their manipulation only perpetuates the cycle of abuse.

Moving Forward

Going no contact is a significant step towards healing. It is important to prioritize your well-being during this challenging time. Therapy and support groups can provide valuable tools and resources. Consider creating a safety plan.

Further research is underway to understand the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse. Mental health professionals are developing more effective treatment strategies for victims.

If you are experiencing harassment or threats, contact local law enforcement. Protect yourself and seek help to break free from the cycle of abuse.