Gay Of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1
Alright, buckle up buttercups! We're diving headfirst into the glitter-bombed, wig-snatching world of *Gay Of Thrones* Season 7 Episode 1! Let's just say, Jonathan Van Ness and his squad brought the sass and shade like a White Walker with a vendetta.
Cersei's Resting B*tch Face Is Stronger Than Ever
First off, Cersei. Honey, that woman could curdle milk with a glare. Seriously, she’s like the Regina George of Westeros, only with more wildfire and less hair scrunchies.
And can we talk about her strategy session with Jaime? Basically, they're surrounded by enemies. Their allies? Uh, pretty much nonexistent. It's like planning a potluck and realizing you only invited people who hate your potato salad.
Euron Greyjoy: The Sea Captain with a Wink
Enter Euron Greyjoy, the pirate with the eyeliner and the even *shadier* intentions. This guy is like a used car salesman, but instead of cars, he's selling alliances and dubious promises to Cersei. He offers to bring her "a gift" – let’s just hope it’s not a dead fish this time, because even Cersei has standards!
Daenerys' Dramatic Entrance: Slay, Queen, Slay!
Meanwhile, across the Narrow Sea, *Daenerys* finally lands in Dragonstone. I mean, talk about a power move! She struts off the boat like she owns the place (because, let's be real, she kinda does).
She’s brought her A-team: Tyrion, Varys, Missandei, and Grey Worm. They’re like the Avengers of political strategy and dragon-riding. They arrive in the castle and she begins removing tapestries, because Dany is not here to play games, she is here to take charge!
Jon Snow: King of the North (and Maybe Everything Else?)
Back in Winterfell, *Jon Snow* is being all responsible and king-y. He’s prepping for the White Walker invasion, which is about as fun as doing your taxes. He gives a speech about uniting everyone, which is great and all, but seriously, has anyone ever won a war by being nice?
Sansa's giving him the side-eye of doom. She's like, "Jon, honey, I love you, but you’re being way too trusting. Have you MET these people?". It's a sibling rivalry for the Iron Throne!
Samwell Tarly: He's Seen Some Things
Oh, *Samwell Tarly*, bless his heart. He's at the Citadel, cleaning bedpans and reading forbidden books. He finds out something important, which is typical for him! But not before having to scoop buckets of... well, let's just say it's not pleasant.
Arya Stark: The Tiny Assassin, All Grown Up
*Arya Stark* is still trekking across the countryside, looking for revenge. She’s like a tiny, deadly ninja with a kill list. She runs into Ed Sheeran singing a song that is... well, we will just say that she is less than impressed. But then she runs into her old friend Hot Pie and that interaction makes her reconsider her destination.
She is on her way to kill Cersei, but it looks like she may be headed home instead.
The Finale: A Glimpse of What’s to Come
The episode ends with Daenerys looking at her war table and asking Tyrion, “Shall we begin?". It's the mic drop of all mic drops. Get ready, Westeros, because the Mother of Dragons is officially in the house! You go Dany!
Season 7 Episode 1 *Gay Of Thrones* gives us a taste of the epic battles, backstabbing, and fabulous wigs that are coming our way. So, grab your popcorn, your closest drag queen, and get ready for a wild ride!
