How To Get Pink Diamond Cayo Perico Every Time

The Cayo Perico Pink Diamond: My (Totally Unreliable) Guide

Okay, let's talk about the Pink Diamond. Everyone wants it. Nobody gets it consistently.

Except maybe me. (Don't quote me on that.)

Step 1: Believe (Hard)

This is crucial. You have to believe the Pink Diamond is yours. Visualize it. Dream about it. Maybe even whisper sweet nothings to your PS5.

Seriously though, a positive attitude is... uh... something.

I’m not saying it’s going to increase your odds, but feeling like you can get it probably helps. Probably.

Step 2: The Pavel Dance

Pavel, bless his little heart, is our Cayo Perico tour guide. But he also holds the Pink Diamond hostage.

So, we need to appease him. I’ve developed a dance.

It involves awkward swaying, finger pointing at the screen when he mentions "primary target", and mumbling about needing that "pretty pink rock".

Unpopular opinion: Pavel isn't *that* annoying. Sometimes. Usually.

Step 3: The Sparrow Ritual

The Sparrow. Our flying metal deathtrap. It's essential for speedrunning.

Before each heist, I perform a small ritual. I fly it in circles above Los Santos for exactly 60 seconds. Then, I crash it into the ocean.

Why? Look, just trust me. Maybe the ocean gods are in on it.

This has something to do with increasing my odds, I think.

Step 4: Submarine Shenanigans

The Kosatka. Our underwater base of operations. It's also a giant, metal... shark?

Before you launch the heist, honk the submarine's horn EXACTLY three times. No more, no less.

This supposedly resets the loot table somehow. Or it just makes a funny noise.

I'm not really sure how this works. But who cares? It's fun!

Step 5: Blame El Rubio (Always)

Regardless of what you get, blame El Rubio. Always.

Did you get tequila? El Rubio's fault. Bearer Bonds? El Rubio's fault. Tequila *again*? DEFINITELY El Rubio's fault.

It won't get you the Pink Diamond, but it will make you feel better.

Remember you can always steal from El Rubio again.

Step 6: The Alt+F4 (Disclaimer: Don't Actually Do This)

Okay, I'm kidding. Don't actually Alt+F4 or close the game if you don't get the Pink Diamond. Rockstar doesn't like that. (And neither do I, really, it’s a pain.)

But the temptation is real, isn't it?

Instead, just angrily tweet about it. That's what the internet is for, right?

Step 7: Repeat (Until You Go Insane)

That's it! Follow these steps, and you'll be swimming in Pink Diamonds. Or at least, you'll be repeatedly robbing El Rubio.

Either way, good luck! And remember, it's just a game. (Mostly.)

Disclaimer: This guide is 100% guaranteed to be inaccurate. Side effects may include frustration, sleep deprivation, and an overwhelming urge to buy a real diamond.

But hey, at least you had a laugh, right?