Michael Myers X Reader X Jason Voorhees

Okay, let's be real for a sec. We've all been there. Trapped in the terrifying, yet strangely alluring, world of slashers.

The Ultimate Horror Love Triangle (Hear Me Out!)

Specifically, a certain horror love triangle. I'm talking about you, Michael Myers. And you, Jason Voorhees. And... well, me. Or you. Or any *Reader* who's ever had a dangerously delicious daydream.

Team Myers: The Silent Stalker

There's something undeniably captivating about Michael Myers. The mask, the silence, the sheer determination to... uh... "connect." It's an odd kind of romance, sure.

He wouldn't bore you with small talk. Imagine the intense eye contact! Just, maybe not before the chasing part.

He offers a very *unique* experience.

Team Voorhees: The Mama's Boy With a Machete

Then there's Jason Voorhees. A misunderstood mama's boy. He is just protecting his home!

Okay, maybe he's a *little* overprotective. But that hockey mask hides a heart of gold... or at least, a heart that used to be gold before it got, you know, swampy.

Plus, who wouldn't want a boyfriend with his own private lake? Talk about romantic getaways!

The Reader Dilemma: Picking Your Poison (Literally)

So, which do you choose? The silent stalker or the mama's boy with a machete? It's the question that keeps me up at night.

Or, you know, keeps me writing fanfiction at 3 AM. Same difference, really.

It is a very hard choice.

Unpopular Opinion Time

Here's where I might lose some of you. I think... I think a Michael Myers *and* Jason Voorhees pairing with *Reader* could work.

Yes, I said it. Polyamory in the slasherverse!

Picture it: Cozy nights by the campfire (safely distanced from Camp Crystal Lake, obviously). Michael silently judging your s'mores, while Jason offers you a freshly caught (and slightly slimy) fish. Fun!

Benefits of a Threesome (The Slasher Edition)

Think of the practical advantages. You'd always have someone to open jars. And two people to protect you from other, less desirable, slashers.

Plus, who needs couples therapy when you have two hulking figures who can silently intimidate each other into behaving?

It will be really something else!

And let's be honest, the dynamic would be *fascinating*. Michael's stoic presence versus Jason's... well, his presence. It's a recipe for drama, tension, and maybe a few accidentally impaled marshmallows.

Reality Check (Maybe)

Of course, there are potential downsides. Communication might be a challenge. Decorating the house could be... minimalist. And date nights? Probably involve a lot of running.

But hey, who wants a boring relationship?

Think of it as a unique experience!