So You're Probably Wondering How I Got Here

So, here we are. You're looking at me. Maybe you're thinking, "How did this person end up *here*?"

The Scenic Route: A Comedy of Errors

Honestly? It's a long story. A really, really long story filled with questionable choices. Think of it as the scenic route. A scenic route that involved a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Let's be real, though. No one *actually* plans to end up exactly where they are. We think we do. We sketch out these elaborate blueprints. But life? Life laughs in the face of blueprints. Especially mine.

Detour #1: The College Major

I started out wanting to be an astronaut. Seriously! I even applied to space camp. Sadly, my application was rejected because I can't do a single pull-up. A real setback, to be honest. After that, I switched majors. Multiple times.

I dabbled in everything from philosophy to zoology. Nothing seemed to stick. Looking back, I think I was just really good at taking naps in different departments.

Then I found my true passion: accounting. Just kidding! I panicked and chose the first thing that sounded vaguely employable.

Detour #2: The "Dream Job"

Remember that dream job you envisioned? The one with the corner office and the unlimited vacation days? Yeah, mine involved selling rubber chickens. I am not kidding.

It turns out, the market for rubber chickens is surprisingly volatile. Who knew? I lasted six months before I staged a dramatic (and slightly embarrassing) resignation.

I will always believe that rubber chickens are hilarious. Unpopular opinion: They need more appreciation.

Detour #3: The Existential Crisis

After the chicken fiasco, I had an existential crisis. A full-blown, what-is-the-meaning-of-life kind of crisis. I spent a week in my pajamas, watching documentaries about the mating habits of sloths.

It was a dark time. But hey, at least I learned a lot about sloths. (Did you know they only poop once a week? Mind. Blown.)

I briefly considered becoming a hermit. My mom convinced me otherwise. Thank you Mom.

So, How *Did* I Get Here?

The truth? I'm still not entirely sure. It involved a series of accidents, a few leaps of faith, and a healthy dose of caffeine. And one too many wrong turns.

But here's the thing: I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even the rubber chickens. Each detour, each stumble, each existential crisis brought me closer to… well, *here*.

And "here" isn't so bad. Especially if "here" involves snacks. (Which, thankfully, it does.) Another unpopular opinion: Snacks should be mandatory.

Maybe your journey has been just as bizarre. Maybe you're still trying to figure out how *you* got here. That's okay! Embrace the chaos. Embrace the detours.

Because life isn't about following the map. It's about getting wonderfully, hilariously lost along the way. And maybe, just maybe, finding a few rubber chickens along the way. Good luck to us, my friend!