The Burden Of Hospitality Is Too Great For Rolf
Let's talk about Rolf. Good ol' Rolf. Salt of the earth, really.
But, friends, I'm here to tell you, the man’s hospitality circuit breaker has officially tripped. The burden? It's just too much!
The Cheese Board Catastrophe
Think about it. Remember that cheese board trend? Rolf felt obligated.
Suddenly, he's sourcing artisanal cheeses from obscure European villages. He's wrestling with fig jam that costs more than his car insurance.
And the crackers! Oh, the pressure of finding the perfect cracker for each individual cheese. It's a madness, I tell you!
The Dinner Party Debacle
Then comes the dinner party. Not just any dinner party, mind you. A curated culinary experience.
Poor Rolf. He's trying to balance a soufflé while simultaneously ensuring the wine pairings complement the subtle notes of the organically grown asparagus. It's a stressful dance!
He once spent three hours meticulously arranging parsley sprigs on each plate. Three. Hours. The man missed a football game for parsley.
The Guest Room Gauntlet
And don't even get me started on the guest room. It's like a five-star hotel in there, except Rolf is the bellhop, concierge, and wake-up call service all rolled into one exhausted package.
He’s leaving lavender-scented pillow mists and individually wrapped chocolates on the pillows. Who even needs that? Really?
He’s even started offering personalized aromatherapy sessions to his guests. I’m pretty sure he just Googled "relaxing scents" five minutes before.
The Brunch Battle
Brunch. Oh, sweet mercy, brunch. The final boss of hospitality challenges. Rolf throws himself into brunch with the fervor of a Viking warrior.
It's not enough to have scrambled eggs. No. It's gotta be eggs Benedict with homemade hollandaise and smoked salmon flown in fresh from Alaska.
He’s making artisanal waffles with exotic fruit compotes, and brewing three different kinds of fair-trade coffee. It's overwhelming. For everyone involved!
Enough is Enough!
Look, we love Rolf. We appreciate his efforts. He means well, bless his heart.
But it's time we staged an intervention. An intervention of chilled-out vibes and low-expectations entertaining.
We need to convince him that a simple pizza and a movie night is perfectly acceptable. That store-bought cookies are a delightful treat.
Free Rolf!
Let's liberate Rolf from the tyranny of perfect hosting. Let him reclaim his weekends. Let him rediscover the joy of… well, not doing so much!
Let's declare a moratorium on cheese boards, soufflés, and lavender-scented pillow mists.
It's time for Rolf to relax, put his feet up, and maybe, just maybe, watch that football game he missed. He deserves it. We all deserve it.
So, join me in this quest to lighten Rolf's load. Let's tell him, "Rolf, you're wonderful just as you are. Now, pass the chips!"
Free Rolf from Hospitality Hell!
