The Villainess's Guide To Not Falling In Love

So, You're the Villainess? Cool.

Let's be honest. We've all been there. Maybe not literally a villainess. But close enough, right?

You’re in a world where everyone expects you to chase after the annoyingly perfect hero. Newsflash: You. Don't. Want. To.

Rule Number One: Avoid Eye Contact. Seriously.

Eye contact is the enemy. It's where those sparkly, destined-to-be-together moments happen. And we want none of that. Zero.

Stare at the floor. Admire the ceiling. Become an expert on the local insect population. Anything is better.

If you must look at someone, glare. Glaring is perfectly acceptable villainess behavior.

Rule Number Two: Develop a Love for Hobbies. Unrelated to Love Interests.

Gardening? Woodcarving? Competitive cheese sculpting? Perfect!

The key is to find something that absorbs all your attention. Think of it as a distraction shield against romance.

Plus, who has time for love when you’re busy perfecting your bonsai technique?

Rule Number Three: Sarcasm is Your Best Friend.

Nothing kills a budding romance faster than a well-placed sarcastic remark. Trust me on this one.

Respond to cheesy declarations of affection with dry wit. Confuse them with complex vocabulary.

Make them question their life choices. Romance averted.

Rule Number Four: Befriend the Side Characters.

The side characters are often more interesting anyway. They also won't be trying to "fix" you.

Plus, they likely have valuable information. Like where the hero keeps his embarrassing childhood diary.

Use that information wisely. For... reasons.

Rule Number Five: Embrace Your "Villainy."

So, you're the bad guy (or gal)? Own it! Revel in it!

Be unapologetically yourself. That "perfect" heroine is so boring anyway.

Who needs a prince charming when you can have a loyal army of (slightly misguided) minions?

Rule Number Six: Never, Ever Trust the "Redemption Arc."

They'll say you can change. That you can be good. Lies! All lies!

Redemption arcs are traps. They lead to tearful confessions and unwanted hand-holding.

Stay true to your villainous self. The world needs a few fabulous baddies.

Rule Number Seven: Remember Self-Care is Crucial

Being a villainess is hard work! You need to take care of yourself.

Indulge in bubble baths. Practice meditation (evil meditation, of course).

And always, always, prioritize your own happiness. Even if that happiness involves world domination.

Bonus Rule: If All Else Fails, Fake Amnesia.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Suddenly forgetting who everyone is and what your evil plans were? Genius.

Just make sure you don't accidentally fall for the hero all over again. That would be awkward.

So There You Have It!

Your handy guide to navigating the treacherous waters of romance when you're supposed to be the bad guy.

Go forth and conquer... your own happiness, that is. And remember: staying single is a perfectly valid life choice.

Embrace the chaos. Enjoy the freedom. And maybe, just maybe, have a little fun along the way. After all, even villainesses deserve a good laugh, right?