There's No More Corn On The Brasos

Okay, folks, gather 'round, because I've got some news. It's big news. Like, "finding a twenty in your old jeans" big.

It involves the Brazos River, and it involves something even more sacred: corn on the cob.

Hold on, what's happening?

Well, my friends, it's time to face the facts. It's time to accept the inevitable. There’s no more corn on the Brazos River.

Okay, okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But seriously, think about it. When was the last time you heard someone say, "Let's go down to the Brazos and grill some corn!"?

Exactly. It's just not a thing anymore. We’ve moved on.

Remember the Good Old Days?

I'm not talking about ancient history here, people. I'm talking about, like, five minutes ago. The era of mythical river-side corn.

Imagine: Sun setting. Crickets chirping. You, your best pal, and a cooler full of corn, ready to be roasted to perfection.

The Brazos flowing gently by, providing the perfect ambiance. A perfect, corn-fueled evening.

But let's be honest: Was that ever REALLY a thing? Or is it just a figment of our collective, nostalgic imaginations? I suspect the latter!

Why Did It Disappear?

I have theories, of course. Several.

Maybe the armadillos got to it all? Those little guys are always up to no good.

Or perhaps the Brazos corn crop was a victim of climate change? Too hot, too dry, too…un-corny? It is a serious issue!

The Real Reason (Probably)

Let's be real, though. The most likely reason is that we just got lazy.

It's easier to microwave a bag of popcorn or grab some corn chips from the store. The convenience factor has won, my friends.

And who can blame us? Life's busy! But the corn has suffered, that's for sure.

A Call to Action (Sort Of)

Now, I'm not saying we need to start a "Bring Back Brazos Corn" campaign. Although, now that I think about it...

No, no. That’s too much. But I AM suggesting we take a moment to appreciate the simple things. Like corn.

And rivers. And the beautiful, if slightly exaggerated, memories we associate with them.

What can we do?

The next time you're near the Brazos, take a moment. Breathe in the fresh air.

Maybe even imagine the scent of roasting corn wafting through the air. Even if it's not really there.

And then, go home and make some corn. On the cob, in a salad, even the dreaded microwaved popcorn. Just appreciate the corn, people.

Let's carry the spirit of the (mostly fictional) Brazos corn in our hearts. And in our bellies. Okay? Great!

So, let’s all raise a (corn-filled) glass to the memory of Brazos River corn. May its legend live on, even if its kernels do not!

"There once was corn on the Brazos so sweet,
A summertime snack, oh so neat!
But progress did call,
Now there's no corn at all,
Just memories we endlessly repeat!"

Consider this article a wake-up call, a fun fact, and a way to make you smile. Just remember, think of the corn!